LESSONS FROM GROWING UP NEXT TO A HIGH ACHIEVER...

Suvi
Sep 20, 2019
3 min read

Updated: Sep 17, 2020

I grew up next to a big brother who seemed to (and he did..and still does in the things he chooses to tackle. And if he fails, he measures and tracks why and instead of getting defeated, levels up and does it better) excel in EVERYTHING. . I felt my entire life like I was desperately trying to catch up and become like him. Not like ME, like HIM. And finding myself always feeling like a failure because I never “levelled up” to where he was. An engineer, a tech genius, determined beyond measure, a world champion in one of the toughest sports (Ironman)...turning anything he touched into gold and with such discipline and determination it made my head spin.🤯 Not understanding I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. So I was setting myself up to fail. Like I was an apple and trying to become a banana. That’s never going to happen 😅 I always looked upto him and found myself looking for his validation and approval. And if I didn’t get it, I was a failure. Not good enough. I don’t think he ever truly knew that, until later in life when I told him. Just to have him say” you don’t need that, why would you.” And in the moment it upset me even more. Until I understood that was what I had missed out on in my thinking all those years. Not understanding that I am good enough, successful just by deciding it for myself. But at the time all I wanted was for him to say “ I am proud of you”. 🙏🏻 I often pondered why, and I think it was partially because growing up I saw him getting time and attention from our father because of sports he was doing and I attached dads love to being like him. I now understand it differently but as a child, we see things from a child’s perspective and we don’t have the ability to make those kind of objective connections yet. I remember studying extended math, physics and chemistry because that is what he did, even though I was drawn to psychology and human behaviour. Helping people. But I thought, acted without thinking really, that ”these fluffy subjects” were not good enough. Took me a long time to understand that I need to follow my own heart, values and passions that are high on my hierarchy, because that is the guide post to my purpose. Not mimicking someone else and their life and path to success when those values and interests are so far from who I am. What lights me up. Here lies the big lesson I think we all should learn. TRUST YOUR OWN DRIVE AND YOUR OWN HEART. Not trying to follow someone else’s. Even if they were doing what you wish to do, your path will still be different. Because it’s YOUR path. You are missing on your key strengths and toolkits for greatness because you are looking outside of yourself. Not tapping into what you are here to do and how you can get there. As YOU. I understood my softness, social intelligence and intuition, gift of connecting with people and uplifting others are my tools to success. And as valuable as his mathematical thinking and drive, his determination and love for gruelling things, such as Ironman or rowing unsupported with his wife from San Fran to Hawaii. Those things are INCREDIBLE accomplishments but so are mine.🌟🌟🙏🏻 So instead of running after other people’s lives, start running after your own. Be proud of the strengths and gifts you have, and stop measuring them to others. Only way to find success and find the strength to struggle through adversity we all have to deal with on our way there, is to tap into YOUR gifts and things that matter to YOU. Only working through and with these nothing can shake you. You become UNSTOPPABLE 🙏🏻😊 I love my brother even more now, having become my own person and seeing the value in who he is as a separate of myself. There’s no competition or feeling of “less than” anymore. Just the love and so much appreciation for being blessed with a rockstar of a brother such as him. Who inspires me to be all I can be by him being who he is💜💜